At the start of a new project, especially a large one, there has to be a degree of exploration. A rattling of ideas down before they are lost. An attempt to explain the almost unexplainable simply because of the size or complexity or, more mysteriously, they are all wrapped up in something unseeable.
To write is to get these ideas down so they are seen, to recognise how they fit with other ideas born at another time, how these interact and create new pathways into the narrative. And the story grows.
The story is and is not at the same time. I have the vastness of it in my head but not the individual details. The details need working over and over for it is in the detail that a tale is really born, really holds water, really reaches to the depths of the inspiration that started it.
What comes out from the pen first is a crude collection of thoughts and ideas. Often short stories hint at the larger world in which they are embedded.
So the first stories from this new larger book try to self contain everything but fail, try to explain as much as possible and trip the reader into trying to work out far more than a few sentences should attempt to explain, simply because I am exploring.
These aren’t the finished work. You are being caught up in the creative maelstrom that is a writer at work. You are witness to the massive puzzle and watch as each piece is scrutinised and placed ready to link up.
I know from watching Tom edit my story that sometimes these raw notes get overlooked and are left in the text. They act as notes to myself, brief pauses to catch breath, completely superfluous character thoughts to help me pin down actions.
You are wondering why I post before these things are honed? Some of these can be stand-alone and work quite well like this. But I am at a stage where everything inspires and I am writing daily, in need of expression of these thought processes, and my blog is working as a pressure valve.
So last night I worked on a small detective unmurder mystery inspired by my meeting with Alex Willis, I am playing through my head the option of having George Stoimenov help with a longer project with his beautiful lyrical English, writing about his Bulgarian history and his childhood, I was met this morning by an inspired thought for a very short tale regarding age as I chatted with Daniel Harlow in the van. What I am saying is that whenever I use ideas it leaves me ready and expectant for the next, and the next, and the next. As I write these ideas into being I am already being inspired by the next opportunity and trying to avoid my head exploding with the sheer volume of creative intent.
As I write these things into being I am understanding myself and how I work in a greater way. I am understanding the underlying story of grace that underpins my life in the majority of situations. I am stating these things openly in plain sight rather than hiding them and in doing so I am grasping hold of my intentions, purposes, excitement and focusing on every task in my hands with a clarity and peace that I haven’t felt for a long time. I don’t have to have everything right, my writing is an exploration of that and a journey deeper into the beliefs that hold my life rock solid. I’m allowed to make mistakes. I’m allowed not to know all the answers. I’m allowed to write and I’m allowed to post these up no matter if the blogs are akin to someone babbling away to himself.
So to these pieces of the story I’ve posted up…they aren’t the finished article. They are notes to myself until I am ready to see the entirety and work all the threads together. They are complete pieces but also incomplete for they will fit into a larger story. You are just privy to the process. Thanks for that.