They were there, lurking in the deep. The outline of their massive bulk revealed in shadowy glimpses through the grey pale surface. The circling behemoths capturing the thoughts and energies of the man. He had entered the boat to cast off into the depths of contemplation. All he met were the currents and waves sent to worry, to harry at peace. And then there came the beasts themselves, the devourers of grace and love and light. The teeth that gnash and gnaw, seeking to chew the identity from his bones. And in his mind the dark gargantuan bodies glide through his thoughts, tight, taut and trembling until they are overshadowing, over, above and inside out. And doubt hooks its barbs and begins to reel in, enmeshing freedom in ever decreasing space. Netting and enslaving liberty and life.
In the boat the rod lies redundant, the line spooled, the hooks shut in their safety boxes, the bait wriggling and unaware of its intended purpose, the man closed to the possibilities. All the tools at his hands to turn the tide and pour troubled water back into the sea beneath him. To see those monsters for what they truly are and see them back beneath the hull, monsters to capture and ensnare, not predators that seek to do the same in a hundred more horrible ways. But that is what he must do – hold the line, standing firm and resolute. For they are the enemy and they would seek to sink belief in the bounty of the sea and drown his life on these rich ocean currents. Currents that would take us deeper into the revelation we are masters of this world, catchers of impossibilities, dreamers of far horizons. For as he lands these dark limpid shapes onto the deck he kills their effect and he is no longer a slave to the lurking menace beneath.
I had to write this in order to subdue guilt – the largest of my monsters, to quench law that would hold me to decrees that stifle, to pull the barbed teeth from the gaping jaws of fear and religion, to silence forever the cavernous maw of judgement.
Instead of being drawn into this embittered world speak words that release. Unleash grace to each other, be free to be free and over all these things lavish love. Don’t seek control or your own small fiefdom but think better than you expect to receive back. Let people’s shadows hold treasure and their words meet a wave of pure light. Let us be light so that darkness is devoured.
Ok this is an explanation of the explanation. My mind today had been captured by a series of things I have likened to brooding predators beneath a boat. It swallowed my peace and it has made me very uneasy today. I have tried to speak these things out but without identifying them I had no way to tackle them. I’m feeling better now! Writing cauterises, operates and heals in one flourish of the pen.